Runner Up

Hello, it's me
I was wondering if after all these months, you'd like to meet
To go over some things
They say that time's supposed to heal you
But I ain't done much healing

Hello, can you hear me?
I'm in circles caught in daydreams about who we used to be
When we were younger and free
I've forgotten how it felt before the world crashed down on me

There lies such distance between us
And we're worlds apart

Hello from the other side
I must've tried a thousand times
To show you I'm here now
Keep breaking down in your arms
Every time she walks by
You leave and forget me

Hello from the outside
At least I can say that I've tried
Though you don't say you're sorry
For breaking my heart
But it don't matter
It clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore

Hello, how are you two?
It's so typical of me to talk about myself, I'm sorry
I hope that you're well
Did you ever make it out of that phase
Of friends onward to lovers

It's no secret
That I've already
Ran out of time

So hello from the other side
I must've tried a thousand times
To show you I'm here now
Keep breaking down in your arms
Every time she walks by
You leave and forget me

Hello from the outside
At least I can say that I've tried
Though you don't say you're sorry
For breaking my heart
But it don't matter
It clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore

Anymore
Anymore
Anymore
Anymore

Hello from the other side
I must've tried a thousand times
To show you I'm here now
Keep breaking down in your arms
Every time she walks by
You leave and forget me

Hello from the outside
At least I can say that I've tried
Though you don't say you're sorry
For breaking my heart
But it don't matter
It clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore

posted from Bloggeroid

Latch

One. Space for motion.
Two. Eyes closed.
Three. Heart aslumber.
Latch.

Four. Inches.
Five. Meters.
Six. Kilometers.
Latch.

Seven. Sight.
Eight. Mind.
Nine. Sweep.
Latch.

Ten. Find a way.
Nine. Make a way.
Eight. Do.
Latch.

Seven. Ready.
Six. Get set.
Five. Go.
Latch.

Four. Break.
Three. Mend.
Two. Take.

And, finally--latch.

posted from Bloggeroid

Desiderata

I know it just isn't. But why is it that in my heart of hearts, I'm somehow still waiting to be surprised?

In the greater scheme of things, some extraterrestrial force might be at work here. I feel like I'm constantly told to ease up on my grip, but every single time I try to let go, I end up holding on some more. That said, I now have opened up my horizons to new terrain, in which the friend gets crowned queen. Such a hard pill to swallow, but if it happens, well, then it happens. I am clearly not in the position to actually have a say about anything, so my thoughts shall remain thoughts... And I pray that my eyes remain expressionless, too.

My eyes- -yes, my eyes, in all their weird glory- -may, or dare I say, will betray me. What I just have to uphold, though, is the constant barricade that borders the iceberg that was once called my heart. The upside? Consistency. Despite the fact that fate really does enjoy kicking my royal ass.

You know what scares me right now, though? Somehow feeling that I've created my own kryptonite. And that my ultimate demise will be when it decides to present itself before my eyes. Add to that this nagging feeling that no matter how aware of it I may be, my world will crash and burn.

All. Over. Again.

posted from Bloggeroid

Overdrive

I find it rather odd that I've (really) only felt how heavy my heart has been for the past few weeks, well.. A few hours ago.

While mindlessly trying to make a dent on tonight's required readings, a single push notification enticed me to check the dreaded blackhole that is Facebook.

It took a whole world of control to keep myself from bawling my eyes out because of what I read. There were a few tasteful tears, of course, but, somehow, I'm still trying to keep it together.

Because that's what I do.

But, as adjusted as I may seem, this funny little monster of an emotion keeps popping out any chance it can get. It's probably a little early to get all reflective, but one of the (if not THE) best messages I got was how I've been making some people proud of who I'm trying to be. Yes, it's unbelievably cliché. But it's also just the kind of motivation I need when my insides constantly demand me to let all this madness go.

Because everyday seemingly becomes a freaking decision to keep moving forward.

posted from Bloggeroid

Baka Sakali

Baka sakaling sa isang mahimbing na pagtulog ay matutunan ng panahon na makalimot.
Baka sakaling sa isang gabi ng pagsusunog ng kilay ay matutunan ng utak na makaintindi.
Baka sakaling sa isang kisapmata'y maglaho ang pighati na dumadagundong sa pusong nananahimik.
Ngunit baka sakali ring sa isang iglap lang mawaglit ang ala-ala ng nagbabadyang pagpatak ng luha.

Baka sakaling tanging pagsibol ang tila hinahanap-hanap ng mugtong mga mata
Baka sakaling tanging pag-iintindi ang nais ng nagsusumigaw na ala-ala.
Baka sakaling tanging panaghoy ng balintataw ay ang nagpupumilit magpakita
Ngunit baka sakali namang tanging pagtighaw ng saloobin ang nais ring matamasa.

Baka sakaling naibahagi na ang di-mawaring kabuuan
Baka sakaling mistulang tikom na lamang ang kalakasan
Baka sakaling lumipas na ang tatag ng noo'y buo pang kakayahan
Ngunit baka sakaling bukas-isip at unti-unti nang maglaho ang pagsasadulaan

Marahil, sa dapit-hapo'y malaman ang hinagpis ng nakaraan
Marahil, takipsilim ang tagapagsaad ng mga diumano'y nabaon na sa limot
Marahil ay lumiban ang pangako ng bukang-liwayway
Marahil ay sa madaling araw manumbalik ang natatanging katotohanan

Dahil baka sakaling maaari pang tuklasin ang bikas ng kakulangan
At baka naman sakaling huwego lamang ito na 'di maiwas-iwasan
Ngunit baka sakaling inaantabayanan lamang ang pag-usbong ng kamalayan
O 'di kaya'y nais nang isakatuparan ang di-inaasahang katotohanan.

Marahil ay tapos na ang panahon na katuwang ng paghihintay
Baka sakaling hanap na ng kalakaran ang pagkakawalay
Hanggang kailan ang libangan na tila nakasanayan na
Na tila di kailanma'y maisantabi ng gunita?

Hindi mapalagay ang nababagabag kong diwa
Walang paubayang pagsalat ang tangan ng panhunab
Sa pag-ikot ba ng orasan ay maparam ang lipon ng mga palagay?

Marahil.

Maari.

Baka sakali.

Sin Palabras

It really baffles me how words affect people less. Maybe I just trust a little too easily, or probably because I think too much, but still.

As far as I know, being an adult requires a certain amount of responsibility, not just for yourself, but for others as well. Or it's possibly just how I was raised. Then again, isn't that what responsibility actually implies?

Unfortunately, right now is such a redundancy of maybes. If I don't write about it, my brain will burst from an insane amount of annoyance for wasted time and trust. Maybe, again, this is an exaggeration, but the prior week of exhaustion doesn't help, either. And to be given an argument that clearly does not help adds to the bull I've been dealing with since before I left home early this morning.

One thing remains clear--let's go back to the part where I said I mean what I say, shall we? The downside of spite directed towards friends is the double-edgedness, if there is such a word, of the situation: you either illicit something that gets brushed off, or create a solid kind of rift that takes time to go away. Especially if balls are nonexistent. And, if you really know how ladies function, you know point A will not always work for similar situations.

Because there will always be a glitch in the matrix.

Oh,Ye Guardians of Change, please come sooner.