it just dawned upon moi that i have exactly four hours tomorrow to edit my future.
toast. that's what i'll be.
brain-wracking tension aside, i am now initiating another phase in my life--one that hopefully would end in a few months, one i'd be glad to say goodbye to. back in high school, i never would have thought fighting to survive college would actually bring you to hell and back. i just knew hell would be there (and, of course, heaven too), but i had several inklings concerning luck and compassion i hoped like crazy to be enough. or so i thought. i've had my pitfalls, those random semi-freudian moments i know so well, and my world sporadically crumbling to oblivion, but it was fun swimming in the mess somehow. the past couple of weeks taught me that there actually exists such a thing as justice in this beautiful--albeit crime-infested--world. the legacy of a few real friends made me realize the absence of "the box."
[okay, think of the box as what you think out of when you want to do something creative. for those who got it, congratulations. for those who didn't, however, hmmm... never mind.]
it's hilarious that when i start thinking of what to write here, i end up writing a number of my posts for over an hour. i know it's my fault, because i'm a... hmmm... "career-oriented" (there you go.) person, but what can i do? i absolutely love what i'm doing.
paradigm shift.
it is still baffling, though, that i somehow project a one-dimensional image to my acquaintances. for some untold strangeness, it is practically what and who they believe that i am. oh well. the thought just crossed my mind.
i currently possess a cornucopia of fused feelings i badly want to exhale to my immediate world. but things will change, and so will time, so the rest of the world's secrets should be vault-sealed until further notice.
ANYWAYS. i better secure my fate or the rest of the celebrated happiness i have scheduled will bear bad news. au revoir!
