oh well :)

the past weekend gave me a whooooole lot to digest. yes, it's the celebration of the summer i missed and will probably be missing a lot more as the years go by. it's also a wake up call, time is asking me to just shut up and let it go. ;)

i shall not dwell on sadness or anything else that will make me counterproductive. instead, i shall think of the bright side and bask in the emptiness of--well--feeling empty relieved for a minute.

it honestly took a bit of a while to swallow the truth i just saw [that's what i get for going ninja on that person]. hahaha. :) lesson learned--i shall not investigate anymore. especially when it involves matters of the heart. ;) 

and it kind of doesn't help if your mom thinks you go out and have dates when really, you study your behind off. i swear, it's not even funny.

i will get my happiness, soon. just you wait. ;)

closing time

last day things. will be back when all is done. i'll miss you, teammates and batch12! :)

There's a sad sort of clanging from the clock in the hall

And the bells in the steeple, too

And up in the nursery an absurd little bird

Is popping out to say coo-coo

(Coo-coo, coo-coo)

Regretfully they tell us, but firmly they compel us

to say goodbye to you

So long, farewell Auf Wiedersehen, goodnight

I hate to go and leave this pretty sight

So long, farewell Auf Wiedersehen, adieu

Adieu, adieu to you and you and you

So long, farewell Au revoir, Auf Weidersehen

I'd like to stay and taste my first champagne

So long, farewell Auf Weidersehen, goodbye

I leave and heave a sigh and say goodbye

Goodbye

I'm glad to go I cannot tell a lie

I flit, I float I fleetly flee, I fly

The sun has gone to bed and so must I

So long, farewell Auf Weidersehen, goodbye

Goodbye

Goodbye

Goodbye

Goodbye

5 years

well, hello there, food pyramid. you look scary. (0_o)

invictus

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

- William Ernest Henley (1849–1903)

the root of all inspiration

This poem has been one of the things that stuck with me throughout my life. I think I remember this being declaimed back in grade school, and the tagline instantly glued to my being. It served as my inspiration, and my assurance that I am special in my own way.

Allow me to share one of the works of the renowned Maya Angelou:

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.

I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size

But when I start to tell them,

They think I'm telling lies.

I say,

It's in the reach of my arms

The span of my hips,

The stride of my step,

The curl of my lips.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

I walk into a room

Just as cool as you please,

And to a man,

The fellows stand or

Fall down on their knees.

Then they swarm around me,

A hive of honey bees.

I say,

It's the fire in my eyes,

And the flash of my teeth,

The swing in my waist,

And the joy in my feet.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

Men themselves have wondered

What they see in me.

They try so much

But they can't touch

My inner mystery.

When I try to show them

They say they still can't see.

I say,

It's in the arch of my back,

The sun of my smile,

The ride of my breasts,

The grace of my style.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

Now you understand

Just why my head's not bowed.

I don't shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud.

When you see me passing

It ought to make you proud.

I say,

It's in the click of my heels,

The bend of my hair,

the palm of my hand,

The need of my care,

'Cause I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

summer?

i wonder how i'll be savoring the last few days of summer i'll have... i'll have exactly 7 days to do EVERYTHING before crash course summer starts again.

i sooooo want to go to the beach!!! i really don't care anymore if i'm not beach perfect. i just want to bask in the sun and get a serious tan :D i remember how i suuuuuuper made sure Torrevieja gave me just that--i literally allowed myself to be scorched by the unforgiving Spanish sun, all of course, for vanity's sake. ;)

now, i'm stuck with work [AND in school, for that matter], and i don't even enjoy it anymore. :( i just want to lie on the sand and not care. even for just ONE day. i wannaaaaaaaa. :(

*sigh*

i want to plan something post-transumm with my batchmates. and everybody wants to do something, that i'm sure of. problem is, nobody's starting to plan. it's all ideas, no one's acting on it. shall i get the ball rolling? i want my summer escapade, even for just one day. one very, very memorable day.

i will get the thing i have always wanted my summer to include. no matter what the stakes, i shall beach! just you wait. ;)

don't panic, it's organic!

it took a bit of a while before our transumm group *finally* bonded.

the apprehensions and the formal-ness everyone felt towards each other seemingly dissolved and everything became fun and friendly.

i have no idea why, but something just clicked. and then we were a team. a seafood organic team. :) and so the circle of trust was formed, bridging gaps and making things alright. we crazy, we fun, we we we so excited. :)

maybe i'll regret saying this in a year, or probably along my path as i go through med school. but one thing's for sure: i am happy now. right at this moment. for i have friends-slash-organicmates i can trust to do the work with me--dirty or not, that is. ;)