Confucius Says

Absolutely nothing. Because Confucius knows I confucius myself. All the time.

Because Confucius is when I detach and say I don't mind.

And that Confucius is when I see new logs and check for (specific) traffic.

Confucius is when I am relieved that (specific) traffic is nonexistent.

But Confucius is when I rethink whether or not (specific) traffic actually happens.

Confucius is when I try to chill but end up more agitated;

Because Confucius is when I block but still absorb.

Confucius is when I allow (specific) traffic to upgrade its status;

And Confucius is when (specific) traffic gets confucius, too.

Confucius is wondering when my life will begin;

Just as Confucius knows just how to make me see how colors fade away.

Although Confucius is when too many other things happen on the side, 

I still know Confucius thrives in a world that, in the middle of everything else confucius...

I just refuse to let the madness slip away.

Reticent Soul I

I’ve been keeping tab at my hormones for the past few days, and right before my study night commences, I receive news of such witless acts. An entire dictionary cannot even begin to express how utterly furious I am, but I again concede that I must fall into the trap of the spineless and agonizingly allow nature to take its course. For posterity.

Haven’t you ever felt vehement fury against a truly unworthy creature but still end up choosing the high road? I have, for years. And I just allowed that monstrosity to happen. Again. I’m starting to think that the vicious cycle will forever haunt me; that I will never be genuinely worthy of peace, and I start to think, what if I let my ideals go this time? What if, for once, I allow myself to feel?

I have never really answered those, in fear of the ultimate source of evil taking over me. My faith is intact, after all. I know that it would be unforgivable to cave, to let all the madness in, to lash out, to do many evil things to that one person I loathe the most. But I want to. With my entirety. I HONESTLY DO. Which is why, in the midst of the merciless rampages at my heart, I finally succumb to my tears.