Suffice it to say that I've been trying to pattern my life to the fairy tales I've grown up with. I've always dreamed that some Prince Charming would magically appear into my life and sweep me off of my feet, just like Cinderella and Briar Rose and those other princesses that ruled my childhood dreams. I always thought, too, that someday, I would outgrow it. But I thought wrong.
Growing up doesn't necessarily mean you let go of the child you once were. It just makes you make better choices to equip you with the things you need to survive this ever-so-ruthless world. I chose to make college so much more memorable than it could be, joined things I didn't think I would be a part of, and, yea, got to see the world with my friends. I chose to enter the insane world of Medicine that turned my life inside out and upside-down, and I find myself enjoying despite and in spite of the many, many battle scars it has left me with so far. But now, in the middle of it all, I realize that while I grew up, some part of me still wishes for a different kind of magic--and my head has apparently never stopped dreaming up a fairy tale. But now, the fairy tale ends.
I could say I wish I didn't stop dreaming, but I certainly don't want to live under the shadow of doubt. Sure, I may share comparable sentiments with some people I know, but it doesn't mean I should hold on to the "usual" and carry on. I guess, this time, I truly need to toughen up.
In a different way.
For myself.
No more of those "this is it" things. This time, it should be for real. No more waiting for this frog to turn into a prince. Unrequited matters should be thrown into the sea, along with the many other wishes we want the waves to wash away from our hearts. Right now, I just have to trust that the Big Guy up in Heaven knows what He's doing. :)
I'm letting go of my old fairy tales.
Cos I think it's about time I make some of my own. AND make them happen.
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