i must admit, in the most non-bitchy of all the bitchiness that i am, i miss you.
since facebook has been revamping most of its interface, i get to see something new everyday. the new layout, perhaps, or the new links and such that randomly pop up.
which brings me to my newest discovery: that sidebar of memories. :) it annoyed me, at first, to see something seemingly nonsensical flash before my eyes AGAIN, but as i saw some statuses of mine with actual substance posted there, i caved and went on clicking almost everything heartstrings-tugging that i saw.
and yes, i miss my old life, too. my old, even-more-flawed self, my escapades, my feelings, my crazy friends. and it actually hurts to think that some of them have been lost. somewhere, i don't know.
i wish everything would reach its conclusion, so that most things can go back to normal. yes, that's right, i WISH.
*sigh*
so, cheers to new beginnings, and i shall continue to pray for miracles to unfold. :)
Showing posts with label ust singers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ust singers. Show all posts
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Friday, November 05, 2010
*proud* :)
NGAYONG PASKO, MAGNININGNING ANG PILIPINO: THE 2010 ABS-CBN CHRISTMAS STATION ID
The Kapamilya Christmas station ID for 2010 features the UST Singers! :D
I miss you all, I'm sooo proud of everyone! *snaps!!!*
Wednesday, November 03, 2010
celebrations! :)
allow me to greet myself: Happy 5th Anniversary! :D
my first day was actually october 5th, but my official 1st day of membership is november 3rd. 2005. :) so, because i was still up at an ungodly hour, i did this:
yes, it was almost all one angle. don't care. :D sooo... Happy Birthday to Faith as well! :) we miss you suuuuper, love! come home soon so we can party already. lol.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
funny.
well, i was supposed to muse on lia's homecoming, but then, i found this pretty thing:
yes, it might be dilapidated and crazy, but it's my 2005-- journal. :) of course, i had to skim through it first. and my college life flashed before my very eyes. lol. now, let's see some notable dates:
- 09 september 2005, friday: i stated "ust singers free concert :(" and then i added with a different pen: "choral recess..."
apparently, this day was also the general assembly day for the science glee club [i had JUST gotten in then], and kuya fonzy brought me to their reception table to secure a form and register for auditions. i remember brushing with a pokerface ate bing and retorting that this alleged group did not even accept me for training the last time. and then i laughed.
- 20 september 2005, tuesday: i stated "kuya vernie's text [on auds]"
hello, chills. so the schedule was on thursday, and my newly-sealed membership with the other group hung in the balance. :o
- 22 september 2005, thursday: i stated: "gc reh: sick- ape'. auds: AS :) [saw ate rina :)]. lalake! :|. sick day... :|"
i clearly remember this day. gc conductor was out sick, so the core group head naturally took over. i had just finished lab class then [at 7pm], and i was due in 2 places: at the 3rd floor reh room and at the conservatory building. about 3 minutes after i had put down my school stuff, i took my black envelope and a few other paraphernalia and had myself excused. library, i mentioned. i had to quickly drop by and get something done.
of course, that was a diversion. i went there, yes, but i didn't go in. and that was AFTER i did what i scheduled first-- drop by the music building and get my gut torn out of my system.
earlier that afternoon, i texted my brother and asked for a 'good luck,' of course, without telling him exactly what i was going to do. and then, his only reply was, "o, goodluck. :)" wow. i didn't understand why that made me even more freaked out. ANYHOO.
first things first, i had to notify kuya vernie that i was on my way. just so i won't stand outside like some lame lunatic waiting for the world to heed my call. and then, i was heard.
while walking, i was still double-thinking what i would do, so i kept on skimming my folder for the more serious pieces i could give a rendition of. both mind and heart racing, though, i willed my head to get a grip as i was nearing the room of doom. knowing i already failed once, i went, 'what the hell' and went on my way. i would rather sing something elementary and do it less painfully than majorly eff up with a more credible song. as soon as i got there, though, my heart failed me again until it was time to go in.
there they were, in a semicircle, staring silently and seemingly mocking my every being.
AH, THIS IS THE LIFE. :-\
though the conductor had a friendly tone [or at least i think he did at that time], i felt he was stern and wouldn't take crap from anybody. of course, given that i had done this twice before already [both 1st and 2nd screening], another 'what the hell' did the trick.
and so i sang.
of course, given that i was not feeling well and COMPLETELY nervous at that time, i didn't expect myself to favor well. but i wanted to, because i couldn't afford to get my ass kicked AGAIN in front of these people who i felt wanted to eat me alive. and so i did my 2 songs, vibrato-clad [don't be fooled, it was because my insides were literally SHAKING. lol.], and with a little more than slight discomfort, compliments of mr.colds.
[1] now that i have you. suuuuper transposed to a lower key, so my voice wouldn't give and i can do a fairly okay rendition from down below. lol. [2] i will. in this song, though transposed to a lower key as well, i found myself stumbling with the lyrics and the entire choir just burst into song. lol. extremely funny moment, it was like lindsay lohan and the plastics in jingle bell rock. HARHARHAR. and there you have it. one part down.
i don't exactly remember what came first, this or the interview, but both definitely happened. the same basics were asked, and one even remembered me from the previous year's audition [ate chich]. :) and so i was interviewed. and i guess it went well, because i know i'm not scared of interviews. it's the singing part i'm actually more anxious about. HAHA.
vocalization was crazy|beautiful, just because i was called a "man," and this meant at least something. sir had already felt he knew how high up i could go, so he went for my lower registers. he kept on saying "isa nalang" [one more] as we went further down to the lower notes, and at some point in the lowness of it all, one of the members retorted, "LALAKE!," and the choir laughed. and so, just after the vocalization and the rhythm exercises and semi-interviews here and there, sir said 'thank you' and they clapped.
i nervously smiled and quietly walked towards the exit. in the brink of all feelings, i opened the door and cried profusely upon seeing ate rina standing outside, waiting for me. it was a simultaneous cry-bearhug that i gave ate rins when i saw her, and i guess it seemed weird to her, but she still hugged back and said it was gonna be okay. just when i thought i'd just forget everything, then came the awkward moment: ron came out and said that i'll just be notified thru text if i pass. all tears aside, and crazy humiliating cz i was like a baby hugging ate rina, i said, 'uh, sure, thanks.' and then the rest was history.
well, ate rina stayed cz she recognized who the person auditioning was, and couldn't believe it. she was in UST for a rehearsal, and just happened to pass by the room and saw moi. lol. and so after a quick chat and getting a grip, she wished me luck as i hugged her goodbye and went on my way.
when i got back to the gc reh room, i was greeted by a knowing nod and stare from the core group head [because she was my friend and she knew i was given the signup sheet--she was with me then, after all.] and i was so guilty i tripled my energy for the rest of the reh. and then the day was done.
not having heard from Singers, i knew it was just one more experience down. so i eventually came clean to my friends from gc ang randomly got interrogated on the matter. i said it was nothing, cz i haven't heard from them anyway, so it was all good. then came tuesday.
of course, that was a diversion. i went there, yes, but i didn't go in. and that was AFTER i did what i scheduled first-- drop by the music building and get my gut torn out of my system.
earlier that afternoon, i texted my brother and asked for a 'good luck,' of course, without telling him exactly what i was going to do. and then, his only reply was, "o, goodluck. :)" wow. i didn't understand why that made me even more freaked out. ANYHOO.
first things first, i had to notify kuya vernie that i was on my way. just so i won't stand outside like some lame lunatic waiting for the world to heed my call. and then, i was heard.
while walking, i was still double-thinking what i would do, so i kept on skimming my folder for the more serious pieces i could give a rendition of. both mind and heart racing, though, i willed my head to get a grip as i was nearing the room of doom. knowing i already failed once, i went, 'what the hell' and went on my way. i would rather sing something elementary and do it less painfully than majorly eff up with a more credible song. as soon as i got there, though, my heart failed me again until it was time to go in.
there they were, in a semicircle, staring silently and seemingly mocking my every being.
AH, THIS IS THE LIFE. :-\
though the conductor had a friendly tone [or at least i think he did at that time], i felt he was stern and wouldn't take crap from anybody. of course, given that i had done this twice before already [both 1st and 2nd screening], another 'what the hell' did the trick.
and so i sang.
of course, given that i was not feeling well and COMPLETELY nervous at that time, i didn't expect myself to favor well. but i wanted to, because i couldn't afford to get my ass kicked AGAIN in front of these people who i felt wanted to eat me alive. and so i did my 2 songs, vibrato-clad [don't be fooled, it was because my insides were literally SHAKING. lol.], and with a little more than slight discomfort, compliments of mr.colds.
[1] now that i have you. suuuuper transposed to a lower key, so my voice wouldn't give and i can do a fairly okay rendition from down below. lol. [2] i will. in this song, though transposed to a lower key as well, i found myself stumbling with the lyrics and the entire choir just burst into song. lol. extremely funny moment, it was like lindsay lohan and the plastics in jingle bell rock. HARHARHAR. and there you have it. one part down.
i don't exactly remember what came first, this or the interview, but both definitely happened. the same basics were asked, and one even remembered me from the previous year's audition [ate chich]. :) and so i was interviewed. and i guess it went well, because i know i'm not scared of interviews. it's the singing part i'm actually more anxious about. HAHA.
vocalization was crazy|beautiful, just because i was called a "man," and this meant at least something. sir had already felt he knew how high up i could go, so he went for my lower registers. he kept on saying "isa nalang" [one more] as we went further down to the lower notes, and at some point in the lowness of it all, one of the members retorted, "LALAKE!," and the choir laughed. and so, just after the vocalization and the rhythm exercises and semi-interviews here and there, sir said 'thank you' and they clapped.
i nervously smiled and quietly walked towards the exit. in the brink of all feelings, i opened the door and cried profusely upon seeing ate rina standing outside, waiting for me. it was a simultaneous cry-bearhug that i gave ate rins when i saw her, and i guess it seemed weird to her, but she still hugged back and said it was gonna be okay. just when i thought i'd just forget everything, then came the awkward moment: ron came out and said that i'll just be notified thru text if i pass. all tears aside, and crazy humiliating cz i was like a baby hugging ate rina, i said, 'uh, sure, thanks.' and then the rest was history.
well, ate rina stayed cz she recognized who the person auditioning was, and couldn't believe it. she was in UST for a rehearsal, and just happened to pass by the room and saw moi. lol. and so after a quick chat and getting a grip, she wished me luck as i hugged her goodbye and went on my way.
when i got back to the gc reh room, i was greeted by a knowing nod and stare from the core group head [because she was my friend and she knew i was given the signup sheet--she was with me then, after all.] and i was so guilty i tripled my energy for the rest of the reh. and then the day was done.
not having heard from Singers, i knew it was just one more experience down. so i eventually came clean to my friends from gc ang randomly got interrogated on the matter. i said it was nothing, cz i haven't heard from them anyway, so it was all good. then came tuesday.
- 04 october 2005, tuesday: i wrote: "good news! AS munstra! :)" -> robie, thanks! :) ; csgc pin... :(
i had been fondly called munstra by my gc friends because of the monstrous ability to keep it together singing though i was sick [which happened a lot of times, especially during the judgment day, when everyone basically vies for a spot in the choir. not to brag, but i had aced orals whilst sick. heehee.]. and so there was this little munstra friendship formed, and i was one of them.
i was previously introduced to a member of the UST Singers who had been a member of the science glee club. robie, as they call him, was a biology upperclassman who got delayed for a year because of the choir's european sojourn. and so i randomly smile at him and greet him whenever we'd bump into each other. this time, though, it was different.
when we saw each other by the elevator, i politely smiled and said 'hi' and he stopped me in my tracks. it basically went like this:
robie: [singsong] 'uy pinapapunta ka na ni sir sa reh.'
jai: [jokingly] 'sus, niloloko mo lang ako'
robie: 'sige, kung ayaw mo, eh di wag!' [laughs]
jai: 'hindi nga! [pauses] talaga?' [smiles]
robie: 'oo nga basta pumunta ka na dun!'
jai: 'ah... okay. thanks! :)'
and then i started jumping in the org room and speed-dialed my brother. i didn't care that everyone was looking at me [i was literally jumping in the entire duration of the call, HAHA] and i just squaled and jumped and talked. :) kuya instantly knew what was going on, and, puzzled, i asked how. he said it was the only thing i had been crazy about recently, so the ambush call was a giveaway. :)
it didn't help as well that it was during this day when karen gave me the gleeclub pin. it did not help at all. but decisions had to be made and it was, at the end of the day, my call.
the next day was gc no reh day, so there goes my free pass. i immediately went to the music building for reh after my class [with slight delay, i didn't want to seem too eager. lol.], but ended up being early still. and then i had a taste of the first nomination night. :) i was beside ate ei in front and got the alto2 part assigned, so i just went with the flow. and i went home with a clear plastic envelope with a million scores. lol.
and, for nomination night, robie was beside me singing my parts in aquesta me guiaba. :)
and the rest of the days were history. :)
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Despedida Del Dia
Estoy muy emocionado tanto y triste. Mañana, mi corazón va a ser mi escenario. Esta es la culminación de todo lo que NOSOTROS hemos trabajado, y agradezco a Dios que he sido muy afortunada de haber compartido experimentando el resto del mundo con todos vosotros. Yo siempre te amaré y te echo de menos todos. Tú lo sabes. <3
 |
| UST Singers, Choir of the World 2010 Llangollen, Wales, United Kingdom June 2010 |
Friday, November 13, 2009
Nandito Pa Rin Tayo :)
A random song that tugged at my heartstrings... Thanks, Jemmy and Kuya Jie for introducing me to this song :) lovettt :)
This is just one of the songs that remind me of the good things in life. That no matter how hopeless or how pathetic life treats us, there's still something to smile about, some semblance of perfection that will imperfectly be perfect to no one else but you.
To the friends i have, new and old, you are, in large part, an essential factor in my existence. :) Cheesy, yes, but true. Always believe that in the course of our lives, when i am needed, i will be there. No matter how inconvenient or whatever, in some way, you will find me there. hugs to you all!!!
-= <3 =-
Naaalala mo ba noon nung bata pa tayo
Naaalala mo pa noon nung bago pa ang mundo
Kahit ano man ang iharap sa atin
Kahit ano ay kakayanin
Andami dami kailangan pang gawin
Sabay tayong nangarap at sabay din natuto
Sabay din natin nakita na nagbago ang mundo
Kahit magbagong lahat sa ating mundo
Okay lang yon magkasama tayo
Maaasahan mo ang pangakong ito…
Masaya malungkot
Nabigo naabot
Nandito parin tayo
Nawala nakita
Lumakas humina
Nandito parin tayo
Di ka mag-iisa may kasama ka sa biyahe ng buhay mo
Umulan umaraw
Nandito pa rin tayo…
Ang dami ng nangyari sa atin
Nandito pa rin tayo
Sa hirap at ginhawa tuloy ang ikot ng mundo
Kahit ngaun alam ko makakaya natin
Kahit anung iharap sa atin
Andami dami pwede pang gawin…
Monday, June 22, 2009
New Music & Spontaneity
the sudden urge to "change it up" has crept into my blogging traditions, and i am left confused...
should i stay or should i go?
methinks this needs a plethora of everything to be decided on. no spur-of-the-moment answers, i hope. and i will come to the conclusion if and when i do.
oh, happy dagger! :o
right now i'm sad because we'll be leaving the family i have grown to love and be with... and so soon! :o but with the thought that we will forever be in each other's hearts, i am slightly comforted. after all, the missing part of the situation will be the hardest to live with. it doesn't matter what happened before, what matters is now. and i think i speak in behalf of everyone when i say that our life as singers has indeed begun anew.
so i pack my bags with a heavy heart and pray that all will be okay, miss all the USTS alumni for the rest of my days, and make it happen. for what it's worth, i know for sure that they will miss us too. and that makes the missing aspect even better. ;)
should i stay or should i go?
methinks this needs a plethora of everything to be decided on. no spur-of-the-moment answers, i hope. and i will come to the conclusion if and when i do.
oh, happy dagger! :o
right now i'm sad because we'll be leaving the family i have grown to love and be with... and so soon! :o but with the thought that we will forever be in each other's hearts, i am slightly comforted. after all, the missing part of the situation will be the hardest to live with. it doesn't matter what happened before, what matters is now. and i think i speak in behalf of everyone when i say that our life as singers has indeed begun anew.
so i pack my bags with a heavy heart and pray that all will be okay, miss all the USTS alumni for the rest of my days, and make it happen. for what it's worth, i know for sure that they will miss us too. and that makes the missing aspect even better. ;)
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Unplanned and Fabulous
after finally accepting that a plethora of emotions has just invaded my sanity, i revert back to my old ways and begin to write about the clockwork that is my life. and this will probably be the rambling that most people will find easy to decode, for i do not feel all that profound today.
for everyone's information, i am having the time of my life right now, and i'm not yet interested in slowing down anytime soon.ü haha ü ANYWAY. we arrived in berlin sometime around 4pm today, and i have already traversed the long road home while having a tug-of-war with gravity. sadly, my luggage still refused to budge and i was left with two overworked arms the minute i entered the door to my new host's abode (good thing my fingers are still alive and kicking because i need to catch up on so much. hahaü).
much to my deep breaths, this trip is not as perfect as i had imagined. and there still were twists and turns that i had to roll with to make things fine. haha the life of me ü oh well, i at least admit that i smile a lot to alleviate my facial muscles of the strain (and, possibly, future wrinkles. hahaü).
that momentous departure date will still be a shocker for me, mainly because i did not expect such a depressive event to haunt me the moment i was about to leave. i hope eveything turns out okay, though, and i know i will still continue working it out the moment i get back home. no worries for now, i'll just have to pray that things work and everyone will be fine. i have constantly prayed in every church i entered that life will be good, so i'll put my hopes on God for now.
of course, i'm great and enjoying a lot, so here's the good part of the story: every city, tourist spot, museum, gallery, rathaus, castle, tower, garden, palace, church, and whatnot that we visit brings tears to my eyes because i repeatedly realize how exciting the world is.ü this is an extremely beautiful cultural experience, and i'm still looking forward to the last three weeks of coldness and concerts ahoy.ü i miss everyone back home, but i know they want me to enjoy this as much as i can. so guess what? it's back to the old optimistic weirdness and happy people life.ü haha ü
whew. i actually felt bland when i started typing this entry, and now i feel a lot better. i guess my silence en route to berlin was a surprise for most people (lia et ate luchie), and the headache will soon be a bad excuse, so am retreating to my room and will achieve peace in sleep.ü
auf wiedersehn ü
for everyone's information, i am having the time of my life right now, and i'm not yet interested in slowing down anytime soon.ü haha ü ANYWAY. we arrived in berlin sometime around 4pm today, and i have already traversed the long road home while having a tug-of-war with gravity. sadly, my luggage still refused to budge and i was left with two overworked arms the minute i entered the door to my new host's abode (good thing my fingers are still alive and kicking because i need to catch up on so much. hahaü).
much to my deep breaths, this trip is not as perfect as i had imagined. and there still were twists and turns that i had to roll with to make things fine. haha the life of me ü oh well, i at least admit that i smile a lot to alleviate my facial muscles of the strain (and, possibly, future wrinkles. hahaü).
that momentous departure date will still be a shocker for me, mainly because i did not expect such a depressive event to haunt me the moment i was about to leave. i hope eveything turns out okay, though, and i know i will still continue working it out the moment i get back home. no worries for now, i'll just have to pray that things work and everyone will be fine. i have constantly prayed in every church i entered that life will be good, so i'll put my hopes on God for now.
of course, i'm great and enjoying a lot, so here's the good part of the story: every city, tourist spot, museum, gallery, rathaus, castle, tower, garden, palace, church, and whatnot that we visit brings tears to my eyes because i repeatedly realize how exciting the world is.ü this is an extremely beautiful cultural experience, and i'm still looking forward to the last three weeks of coldness and concerts ahoy.ü i miss everyone back home, but i know they want me to enjoy this as much as i can. so guess what? it's back to the old optimistic weirdness and happy people life.ü haha ü
whew. i actually felt bland when i started typing this entry, and now i feel a lot better. i guess my silence en route to berlin was a surprise for most people (lia et ate luchie), and the headache will soon be a bad excuse, so am retreating to my room and will achieve peace in sleep.ü
auf wiedersehn ü
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Keeping the Faith
after a fairly pleasurable encounter with the ties that bind, madame karen and i trotted to dapitan to await our chariot en route to jem's abode. much to our disbelief, we spotted a partly-hidden house of haunted horrors (try spelling shop-a-holic, our worst nightmare ;p) somewhere down the road and impulsively and almost literally jumped off our chariot to seek for an adventure.
let's just say impossible is nothing. ;)
long story short, our thirst for adventure was quenched in some guilt-ridden way and we loaded on sinful sweets prior to heading back to the road where we were once going. too bad, though, the rain was starting to pour as we finally made our way through the annoying traffic of the busy streets of manila. just as we disembarked the carriage we last rode, we were faced with the awful truth that times have changed (additional charges now apply, haha!).
every moment of this spontaneous escapade was laced with the dread of actually succumbing to the truth that we have been waiting to hear for the past couple of weeks... despite that, however, we got down to business and began the journey to photoshop haven.
moments such as this make you realize how much you miss of the easy life you once had, one that required less energy and effort to grow to love. however, since time pushes us to grow and escalate, we make do with what we have and trod towards the unknown. and, sometimes, we end up loving the unknown too.
it makes me laugh to think that i got so accustomed to sleeping in the morning that i never even got tempted to hurry to dreamland the entire night we spent there. i sang out loud and impressively stayed alive amidst the droopy faces i saw, and ever-so-energetically joined in on the conversation about life and loves lost (yes, go emo mode! ;D). the moment of clarity was painfully induced by my playlist choice as i decided to randomly select a name of my fancy on the ipod that graced jem's uber-burgis ipod dock. much to our enjoyment, we relived the times as we listened to the soothing sounds of boyzIImen and whathaveyou.
barf bags, anyone? ;p
methinks remembering is healthy, though. it keeps you on your toes and doesn't allow you to take things as they are. the act and art of remembering gives your neurons a workout, and you turn over a new leaf every single time. soon enough, you will be saying hello to maturity and to the rest of the beauteous world. ;)
things will never be the same, i know. and as i conclude a part of my humble beginnings, i shall live to see the day i leave with a heavy heart and a smile on my face. i am not at all times so mean, after all. ;)
oh, and by the way, our prayers have been answered. ;) if this will be God's plan for us, let's al hope we make it good. like what we've been saying, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. ;)
"one cannot question the existence of feelings. they are there, raw and undeniable... but one can choose not to nurture what is felt. yet, no matter what they say, what has been felt will always be more honest than what was chosen."
let's just say impossible is nothing. ;)
long story short, our thirst for adventure was quenched in some guilt-ridden way and we loaded on sinful sweets prior to heading back to the road where we were once going. too bad, though, the rain was starting to pour as we finally made our way through the annoying traffic of the busy streets of manila. just as we disembarked the carriage we last rode, we were faced with the awful truth that times have changed (additional charges now apply, haha!).
every moment of this spontaneous escapade was laced with the dread of actually succumbing to the truth that we have been waiting to hear for the past couple of weeks... despite that, however, we got down to business and began the journey to photoshop haven.
moments such as this make you realize how much you miss of the easy life you once had, one that required less energy and effort to grow to love. however, since time pushes us to grow and escalate, we make do with what we have and trod towards the unknown. and, sometimes, we end up loving the unknown too.
it makes me laugh to think that i got so accustomed to sleeping in the morning that i never even got tempted to hurry to dreamland the entire night we spent there. i sang out loud and impressively stayed alive amidst the droopy faces i saw, and ever-so-energetically joined in on the conversation about life and loves lost (yes, go emo mode! ;D). the moment of clarity was painfully induced by my playlist choice as i decided to randomly select a name of my fancy on the ipod that graced jem's uber-burgis ipod dock. much to our enjoyment, we relived the times as we listened to the soothing sounds of boyzIImen and whathaveyou.
barf bags, anyone? ;p
methinks remembering is healthy, though. it keeps you on your toes and doesn't allow you to take things as they are. the act and art of remembering gives your neurons a workout, and you turn over a new leaf every single time. soon enough, you will be saying hello to maturity and to the rest of the beauteous world. ;)
things will never be the same, i know. and as i conclude a part of my humble beginnings, i shall live to see the day i leave with a heavy heart and a smile on my face. i am not at all times so mean, after all. ;)
oh, and by the way, our prayers have been answered. ;) if this will be God's plan for us, let's al hope we make it good. like what we've been saying, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. ;)
"one cannot question the existence of feelings. they are there, raw and undeniable... but one can choose not to nurture what is felt. yet, no matter what they say, what has been felt will always be more honest than what was chosen."
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