a song

"...cz i'm dying inside to hold you... i couldn't believe what i've felt for you... dying inside, i am dying inside, but i couldn't have the chance to touch you..."

living is great. loving is even greater. BUT--- life stinks, and love stinks too.

sometimes.

"nadala." how sad. just when i was beginning to feel happy for all the right reasons (at least i think so), things had to go back to zero. i'm disappointed. you are too. i wouldn't be okay with this. same with you. but still, we decided that things should be this way. fine.

i'm happy, though. at least i did not lose everything. just most of what would really make me overly happy. maybe i'm just not feeling it much yet, cz this is new... but i think i'll manage. i know you won't be able to keep things this way naman. and i'm sure i can't, either.

labo.

so why should it be like this? because this is where it's going to start. and we're trying to keep things balanced. well, one thing's for sure: balance can NEVER be achieved through this decision, but, i guess, it's worth a try. you said so yourself, if this works, we'd be happier. if not, i guess things will go back to their usual more complicated state. i'm willing to gamble, but not too much. just enough that i know my limits---what i can and can not do.

i always play safe, huh? i know. it sucks. but that's what i need to keep my sanity. i know you understand. i also know that you're struggling to keep yours, too.

we both understand what we are headed for and where we are headed to. we both lost control. we both know what to do. it's just that we are both confused, and the decision is of the extreme. hah. like we can pull this off.

[the more positive side of me>>>] of course we can. we're working together, right? hand-in-hand. it's not going to be easy. no one said it would be. even before we decided, we knew this would bring us hell before we could pull it off. but hey, we know the consequences and we also know its perks. we're gambling. we rock.Ü

a song... that's what eveything is.

"Kht wla naman prize e.As long n i get 2 u dats enough n e..."

holding on.