Deep Breaths.

Always be wary when mixing business with pleasure. In spite of random endings that go well, there are some highly quicksand-ey situations that make you regret even planning to get the best of both worlds.

In a perfect universe, I would be able to get what I want, when I want it. But since that world exists only in a dream, I suck up all the bad juju that's been accumulating and flash a halfhearted smile. Poor me, always on the losing end.

I'm starting to think the theory I once had was never true to begin with. Apparently, everything I believed about this has been a lie, and I have subjected myself to nothing but embarrassment and despair. But yes, life goes on and I shall eventually find another theory to believe so my heart can get disproved again someday.

Oh well. At least I'm used to disappointments. :( pardon the self-pity. Down in the dumps is just an understatement right now. Sigh.