I’ve been keeping tab at my
hormones for the past few days, and right before my study night commences, I receive
news of such witless acts. An entire dictionary cannot even begin to express how
utterly furious I am, but I again concede that I must fall into the trap of the
spineless and agonizingly allow nature to take its course. For posterity.
Haven’t you ever felt vehement
fury against a truly unworthy creature but still end up choosing the high road?
I have, for years. And I just allowed that monstrosity to happen. Again. I’m starting
to think that the vicious cycle will forever haunt me; that I will never be genuinely
worthy of peace, and I start to think, what if I let my ideals go this time? What
if, for once, I allow myself to feel?
I have never really answered
those, in fear of the ultimate source of evil taking over me. My faith is
intact, after all. I know that it would be unforgivable to cave, to let all the
madness in, to lash out, to do many evil things to that one person I loathe the
most. But I want to. With my entirety. I
HONESTLY DO. Which is why, in the midst of the merciless rampages at my
heart, I finally succumb to my tears.
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